Le Paradis Perdu: November, 2008

Leah's profileLe Paradis PerduPhotosBlogListsMore

Tools

Help

<< First < Previous Next > Last >>

November 28

whatever u call it...

lately, i've been reading my old stuffs here in my space, and i felt" wow! look what i've done here!" my life used to be so crazy, and now i barely remember them.

i was reading them one by one, and i found out , there was a blank, for almost a year, or maybe even more. what was i doing then? i tried to get those flashbacks, but so many had happened, and i just can't change any of it. i was stupid then. my friends are curious about what i was doing during that time, but what i can say is , i'm sorry,i can't tell, maybe later, but not now.

anyway, believe or not, i'm a good girl.^-^and my friends can prove that~

now i feel like i'm just pretending, pretending to be a wonderful person, a good girlfriend,a great daughter, but definitely, i'm not, i just pretend that i am. tell the truth, i'm getting tired of it. i'm filled with secrets, things that i don't want others to know, and sometimes i have to tell lies to make sure that these secrets are safe. i always care about others' feelings but ignore mine.

i do believe in fate, and karma too. coz, what goes around comes around. i think what i'm going through is kind of a karma, like now i'm paying for what i've done before, the things shouldn't be done.

2008 actually means a lot to me. i went through a lot, the good things and the bad things, success and failure etc. most importantly, i met him. he is the guy that makes me feel there is still someone that really cares about me. tell the truth, i just can't stop thinking of him,hehe. and i think he is part of this fate and karma, or at least i hope so.

honestly, i wanna go back to the old days, to those happy and careless days, stick with my girls, and talk about everything, i'm kinda miss those days.now ,i'm thinking, where is the "happy me"? my brain is fully loaded, lots of things happened, and they have been replayed in my head over and over and over again, and i can feel by myself, i have changed. that "happy little me" is gone, and what has left is a girl, suspicious, lack of believing, and trust.

but seems like there is still a thing in this world called"hope",and of course "miracle", which i believe that happens all the time. so what i'm gonna do is patiently waiting, and see what will happen. i don't know what awaits me, but i'm dying to find out.

wish me luck!~~and wish all of u good luck!

2:27 PM | Add a comment | Read comments (4) | Permalink | Blog it

November 24